Seems to have lots of stuff going through my mind currently. School, CCA, relationship, and whatever there is that I yet to be able to categorise into...
School:
Just had one quiz down... and 5 paper to go next week. Then it will be 2 weeks break. Projects and stuff... Glad that most lab pract are over and done with. So left with projects to settle.
Pretty vex over PDD product. Wish it can really just turn out the way it ought to be. Solutions were offered by others, perhaps ought to take it up? Couldn't help but ask myself, why did I even choose to do on snowskin mooncake when both me and my groupmate didn't try it before. And best thing is? mooncake isn't in the season now... zZz
Things are pretty manageable, but just confusing. Don't want to think so much into it le.
CCA:
in just a few days later, it marks the end of SA for me. 2 years. That's how long it been. Lots of stuff that happen which I half wish it didn't, especially for this 1 year. But still, I'm glad to be in this cca, for it have bring friendships to me. Experiences that I would never forget. Dreading, yet looking forward to it at the same time. *shrug*
as for the other cca. I really wish things are resolved and settled by ytd. I can't help but wonder, it is a wrong move all along? The decision to join, to stop for a period of time, to resume, to be a better leader. Or perhaps, all these shouldn't have been done? To leave it as how it is 2 years ago? It seems to be, if that was done, things will be less complicated now?
But like I always say, things happen for a reason and with each decision comes along with a mark that is left. A mark that is not removable, it may fade, but not gone. But, in a way, it feel as if those marks and decisions are huanting me, questioning me if this is indeed what I decided on, if I'm able to face up to the consequence of those decisions.
Thinking too much? Perhaps I am. Things can be rather simple. But they ain't, when things are interlope with other stuffs, like priorities, or even relationship.
It still boils down to how much I willing to sacrifice isn't it? But to sacrifice, you have to know the priority. All I know for myself is that, I'm a 1st-come-1st-book kinda person. I don't like cancel out on people or events. And that's the way I been doing things. However, it seems that to some, I'm not prioritizing my stuff well, that I'm not putting enough effort. If there are people doubting my skill, I'm ok with it, because there is still a lot more that I need to learn, to improvise on. Yet, commitment being questioned, that's one thing that I find it hard to accept.
Relationship:
Not that anything is screwed up or what. But just that there been too many bumps and hiccups this year. Some got back on course and moving along well, yet some had fall off the course and gone in a totally different direction. I hate it when I feel/have the impression that I'm being blame for the drifting etc in the relationship. It's a two way thing, it takes two hands to clap. I don't deny, I'm taking some for granted at times, that I seem to be can't be bother with it at times. It gets really weary at times, if it keep happening again and again, around the same issue. I learn about not holding too tightly, afterall, people comes and goes, even for the bestest friends.
Been thinking about quite some stuff, especially about future. And chat with my PDD mate had left me thinking. Both of us pretty much share the same mindset. Now, the thing is no about how we think, but rather, how much of it will be put in action? 100%? 50%? or perhaps 0%?
Lost in a way. Yet seems to be in 'control' in another.
Time is too short for regrets. Before you know it, dec will be over, 2009 will be over. On the last day of 2009, a reflection is indeed needed...
