Final Theory Test

Woo hoo!!!!!

Finally FINALLY cleared my FTT!!!!!

ok... fail once.. .and missed my 2nd 1 wen i was 'arguin' wid Fel tt day -.-

could hafclear it wayyyyyy earlier if not for bein too sotong n applyin for e wrong date 1... zzZ


@ least.. now theory cleared liao... pract until lesson 21 liao... ard 12more to go!!!

Aim to get license by Dec ^^ so tt i can drive e car durin CNY... hehe

Song: Bare-feet Goddess

HADASHI NO MEGAMI
Bare-feet Goddess

Dore dake nakeba, asa ga tsutsunde kureru
Kagami no naka no nureta kuchibiru wo kamu

Machijuu ga uragiri ni afureteru to, suneru dake no yatsu mo iru kedo
Kimi wa kanari omoi koi no damage mo, hara ni osame ashita wo mitsumeteru

Oh my hadashi no megami yo, kizu wo kakusanai de ii yo
Itami wo shiru manazashi wa fukaku sunde mou shioreru koto wa nai

Doko made hashireba ano hito ni aeru
Shirazu shirazu yasashisa motomesamayou

Hakanai dake no tsuyogari ni mieru nara isso dareka ni dakitsukya ii
Nasakenai yaji bakari tobasu dake no himajin nanka yori yoppodo ii kara

Oh my hadashi no megami yo, kizu wo kakusanai de ii yo
Itami wo shiru manazashi wa fukaku sunde mou shioreru koto wa nai

Oh my hadashi no megami yo, kizu wo kakusanai de ii yo
Kaze ni kesareru koto no nai, yorokobi sagasou
Don't you cry, my hadashi no megami yo
Hitori de nakanai demo ii yo
Kokoro kara dareka ni hohoemu
Kimi no kata wo hikiyosetai yo



TRANSLATION

No matter how much you cry, morning still comes around
Looking inside the mirror, biting the lips that are wet by tears

In the city, betrayal fills the air, there are people who are angry with the world
But you hide the seriously damaged love and calmly face tomorrow

Oh, my bare-feet goddess, you don't have to hide your scars, it's fine
Your bright eyes know all about pain, there's no need to restrain yourself now

How far do you have to run until you can meet that person?
Never realizing that you're looking for such tenderness

Rather than showing a false strength, why not embrace somebody tightly?
Because this is much better than
those who have much spare time and still neglect loved ones

Oh, my bare-feet goddess, you don't have to hide your scars, it's fine
Your bright eyes know all about pain, there's no need to restrain yourself now

Oh, my bare-feet goddess, you don't have to hide your scars, it's fine
Find your happiness that won't be blown away with the wind
Don’t you cry, my bare-feet goddess
You don't have to cry alone, it's fine
In the bottom of your heart, who is that you are smiling at
I wanna pull your shoulder close to me

Song: Flowerpot

Alex Chu – 화분 (Flowerpot)



멀리서 멀리서 멀리서 그대가 오네요
Meol-li-seo meol-li-seo meol-li-seo geu-dae-ga o-ne-yo

이 떨리는 마음을 어떻게 말해야 하나요
I ddeol-li-neun ma-eum-eul eo-ddeoh-ge mal-hae-ya ha-na-yo

그댄 처음부터 나의 마음을 빼앗고
Geu-dae ch’eo-eum-bu-t’eo na-eui ma-eum-eul bbae-at-go

나을수 없는 병을 내게 주었죠
Na-eul-su eobs-neun byeong-eul nae-ge ju-eott-jyo

화분이 될래요 나는 늘 기도하죠
Hwa-pun-i doe-rae-yo na-neun neul gi-do-ha-jyo



*난 그대 작은 창가에 화분이 될게요
Nan geu-dae ja-keun ch’ang-ga-e hwa-pun-i doe-ge-yo

아무 말 못해도 바랄 수 없어도
A-bu mal mot-hae-do ba-ral su eob-seo-do

가끔 그대의 미소와 손길을 받으며
Ga-ggeum geu-dae-eui mi-so-wa son-gil-eul ba-deu-myeo

잠든 그대 얼굴 한없이 볼 수 있겠죠
Jam-deun geu-dae eol-gul han-eob-seo bol su itt-gett-jyo


멀리도 멀리도 멀리도 그대가 가네요
Meol-li-do meol-li-do meol-li-do geu-dae-ga ga-ne-yo

떨어지는 눈물을 어떻게 달래야 하나요
Ddeol-eo-ji-neun nun-mul-eul eo-ddeoh-ge dal-hae-ya ha-na-yo

그댄 처음부터 나의 마음을 가졌고
Geu-dae ch’eo-eum-bu-t’eo na-eui ma-eum-eul ga-jyeott-go

나을 수 없는 병을 앓게 한 거죠
Nan-eul su eobs-neun myeong-eul anh-ge han-geo-jyo

화분이 되고픈 나는 늘 기도하죠
Hwa-pun-i doe-go-p’eun na-neun neul gi-do-ha-jyo



*난 그대 작은 창가에 화분이 될게요
Nan geu-dae ja-keun ch’ang-ga-e hwa-pun-i doe-ge-yo

아무 말 못해도 바랄 수 없어도
A-bu mal mot-hae-do ba-ral su eob-seo-do

가끔 그대의 미소와 손길을 받으며
Ga-ggeum geu-dae-eui mi-so-wa son-gil-eul ba-deu-myeo

잠든 그대 얼굴 한없이 볼 수 있겠죠
Jam-deun geu-dae eol-gul han-eob-seo bol su itt-gett-jyo



*난 그대 작은 창가에 화분이 될게요
Nan geu-dae ja-keun ch’ang-ga-e hwa-pun-i doe-ge-yo

아무 말 못해도 바랄 수 없어도
A-bu mal mot-hae-do ba-ral su eob-seo-do

가끔 그대의 미소와 손길을 받으며
Ga-ggeum geu-dae-eui mi-so-wa son-gil-eul ba-deu-myeo

잠든 그대 얼굴 한없이 볼 수 있겠죠
Jam-deun geu-dae eol-gul han-eob-seo bol su itt-gett-jyo





TRANSLATION:
Verse 1:
He is approaching..
from a far far far distance
how am i to express my shaking heart?
He.....
Stole my heart from the very start
and gave me an illness that i cannot recover from...

Chorus:
I want to become a flowerpot
I pray all the time
I want to become a flowerpot
That stands on his small window sill
Even if I won't be able to say a word
or expect anything

From time to time I'll receive
his smile and careness
And just watch his sleeping face

Verse 2:
He's leaving
very far far far away
How am i supposed to soothe
these falling tears? He...
Stole my heart from the very start
And gave me an illness that i cannot recover

Chorus:
I want to become the flowerpot
I pray all the time
I want to become the flowerpot
That stands on his small window sill
Even if I won't be able to say a word
or expect anything

From time to time, I'll receive his smile and careness
And just watch his sleeping face

I want to become the flowerpot
That stands on his small window sill
Even if I won't be able to say a word
or expect anything
From time to time, I'll receive his smile and careness

MIA

As easy as it is to connect with others due to the advanced technology...
It is also as easy to just cut off from the world...

Off handphone...
Offline in msn, skype n so on...

And for once,
My handphone have been switch off
For the need to escape from everywhere...



I want some time alone...
But at the same time...
I need someone to be there for me...


Thanks peeps,
For the concern...
I know there's a listening ears out there
But as I had mention before...
It's not about who is willing
But who I'm comfortable in sharing...
Or who that I need to be there...

Perhaps...
I just finding excuses...


Confused and lost...

Importance

I seriously wonder, what is my importance in you...
Do you know, that I want to MIA because of you?


Perhaps...
It has been me who is needing you,
Not you needing me...


Do you know,
That I told myself to be emotionally independent...
Because of you?

Have you realise
That each time you want to rant
That you need someone
I'm there for you
Despite how late it may be?
Waking up to your calls late at night...


Do you know how much I needed you today?
Yet, with just a 'not today' reply from you...
I tried to keep the disappointment in me...
Because you're unwell
You need your rest...


Perhaps,
Time alone is needed for now...
Perhaps,
We have to stay out of each other way for the time being...

Exam

Start of exam today for me... and ends on next wednesday... No break between e paper... going to cram like hell...

Final lap for most of my classmate... But not for me...



Hopefully, I can just score for today's paper... Today's paper is important... And will determine how my path will be like... *Back to studying*

Dearest peeps

I guess, I ought to be thankful for tonight... Because I was reminded of the great people I have in my life... Because of two person...

First person...
Despite getting pissed off and fed up with me, because of the way I had acted... Walked away because it was just a bit too much to tolerate... But was all along watching out for my safety and well being which walking a distance behind me, without letting me knowing... Only when I didn't board the bus, that this person catch up with me to make sure I'm really alright... Staying with me when I got onto my transportation, while having to risk being caught in the rain without an umbrella...

Second person...
Just when I thought I have no one that I'll feel comfortable turning to... This person change my mind... I guess, with so many people in my life, this person is still the one who understand me best... The one who worry about my emotional being... And I guess, without being ensured that I'm okay, this person who let me off easily?



I'm glad and I'm thankful...
If not for tonight, I guess I'll still be trap in my own world...
If not for them, I think I'll just totally break down...



I guess, stress has finally decided to catch up with me, after having to let me off for the past 18 years

Confide

I just came to realise...
That I have no one
Who I can really turn to now...
When I need someone...
A listening ear...


I know there many around,
Who are willing to be my listening ear
However it just not about who willing to be there
But who I'm comfortable in sharing...


Number dwelling...
Perhaps it's because of the things that had happened...
I no longer know who to turn to...



Perhaps,
It's time I learn to be independent...
Be independent emotionally...
Learning the lesson the hard way?













DA!!! meet up soon!!!
I need our chit chat therapy :(

Book: You Are Here

Was rereading the book You Are Here just now... in fact i just finished e book...

Sad endin... A sad love story... A friendship that became a relationship... Dated all the way back when they were primary 1... til dey were 22...

Readin tt book kinda remind me of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button... Gettin younger over time, instead of older... Metally shrinkin a year fortnightly... all bcuz of tryin to escape of hurt and betrayal... Trying to protect self from hurtin more...

e guy stay by her... even though dere's times wen he feel like givin up... but each time he near to givin up, his love for her is renew and he stay by her... tryin to cure her from e mental illness...

How far would you go for your true love?

That's e statement at the cover of the book. And that's the question that I ended up asking myself. Not just for true love, but all my love ones... Indeed, how far would I really go for my love ones? For my family and friends?

Kinda contradicting to what was mention previously isn't it? Telling myself to live for myself. Yet now, I'm asking myself how far I'm would go for others.


What if I'm in either main leads' shoes?
If i'm in e girl's situation... will e ppl ard me still cont' to stay by me? or slowly, one by one givin up on me?
If i'm in e guy's situation... will I have e strength to stay by the other person? or will I end up breakin down myself?


What if... A question that is often ask. But how many times do we really get an answer to it?

Live for yourself...

Was watchin some vid just now... n tis was wad had mention in e vid

You do good, people talk bad.
You are bad, people talk bad.
You do more, people talk bad.
You do little/none, people also talk bad.

So why?
Why even bother?

Live for yourself.
Live for the day.
You'll be a better person

Indeed, I can't help agree. Sometime, no matter what you do, others just want to put you in e bad light. Be it things that you did or things that you didn't.

Ultimately, who is it for? It's just you. So live your life for yourself. Live for the day.


i'm trying to care less, lest I'm badly affected again by something which the other parties won't.

All I feel like doing now,
Is to just close this chapter once and for all.
I'm tired.

You doesn't need me afterall.
Unlike how we have thought.
You have great people around you.
And I ain't one of them.

I am nothing more than just a passerby
In your life.

Movie: Turning Point

Watch Turning Point with Deardear @ GV Bishan 2day...

prefer tis movie compared to District 9... though similar to District 9... dere's lots of jumpin here n dere for e scene... as in quite a few flash backs...

interestin concept... being undercover for both side of e laws... a triad leader send him to b e undercover in police force... police force made him e undercover for e underground triad... interestin~

rather sad endin wid so many deaths...

e amt of sacrifice tt e brother made for his sis, e amt of compromise given to his sis by him, e amt of care and stuff...

another thing tt kinda amaze me is e route Laughing choose in e end... can't help thinkin, isn't it just gng to b a cycle agn n agn?

not a bad movie... given tt i didn't watch e drama series b4...



Sometime, we ain't given much choice/route... Choice is nothing more than just to choose between two option given by someone else... Having to choose mean to give up on something while you settle on the one you decided on... That's how life is, isn't it? There isn't best of both world, sadly...

Isolation

I can't help wishing
That there's a place I can go to
To just be away.
Perhaps to really isolate myself from everyone.

Off my handphone...
Not online in msn, skype, facebook...
Not checking my email...
Away from everyone...

Literally away.
In both the virtual and real world.
MIA for a period of time.




But I know,
It is practically impossible.










I wish,
That I can stop myself
From being bothered
From being affected
By the things happening
By the people around me

But is it possible?








Can someone explain to me
Why am I still so affected
When the person who started
Don't give it a damn?

Guardian Outing

ok... a rather outdated outing write-up due to e fact tt blogger been in crazy mode n doesn't let me upload my pic -.-

Finally a meet up wid Guardian peeps ^^ on 2nd July 09... almost 1yr since we last meet up!!! gosh! Selvi, Siti, Erny, Da and me!! missin Aisah though :(

Had dinner @ Pizza Hut. Shown dem my aust trip photos while w8in for Erny to arrive... Catch with everyone... n had plenty of laughters and jokes and teasing ard ^^

Send Selvi off to her bf, while the rest of us cont to slack ard Orchard/Somerset... When to Orchard Central to check it out... And had photo shoots session @ lvl 7... haha... cuz no1 ard...


Check out the toilet cuz da keep tellin me how cool the toilet is... n yea... it's rather cool... haha... Another camwhorin session... *expected wen the camera(s) in Erny's hands!!! :P*

Can't w8 for the next meet up wid dem... hopefully, tis time Aisah can join us...

Hanging out with them makes me recall of the great time at Guardian... I truly miss those time... The laughter, the chat, the endless stock-takin... Indeed, those were the great times we shared. Thanks for being my dearest colleagues at Guardian, making my time there an enjoyable one. It will never ever be the same without you gals. *not forgetting to mention, if not for Da, i won't get to work @ Guardian in e 1st place ^^*

Friendship?

Yes, blame everything on me... Finally you get the picture, and finally I seen your true side...

Get thing clear that I'm the one choosing to leave? I seriously wonder, who is suppose to be the one getting things clear... So be it, since you want to put the blame on me for ending it... Never once did I mention about ending, never once I said about giving up...

Forgotten what I say before? Never once did I say forever, because I have no longer believe in forever... I kept my words about being there for you... I know I did... I meant what I say and given such thing, I'll never lie about it...

I remember the things being done... But are you?

Thanks for reminding me, about how delicate trust and faith can be...

You're making me regret. Regret not the path I decided to choose now. But regretted on the action I had made nine months ago!

You're upset. Ain't I the same, having to read those stuff in your blog again and again. Clarify with you again and again. If I seriously don't see you one of the more important people in my life, would I really be bother AND affected by how you feel and think? Are you really cherishing, as you proclaim?


Each time trust/faith is being tested on, it's either pass the test and get stronger... or it just fail and get destroyed...



Get this straight. I don't see the point of avoiding you. Because it serve no purpose. If you intend to continue to think that way, so be it. Because I know, even if your thinking about that changes now, sooner or later, in the future, it will be back to this again. Truth is, I'm really tired of having to worry about how you feel. Tired of being blame when it isn't really my fault.

I tried. I tried to let you see. But I'm really tired of having to do it again and again. Being accuse again and again. Do you even know that?

Space

Sometime, I just choose to MIA from the virtual world... Cutting myself away from everyone online... In a way, I need some personal space and time... To clear my thoughts, my emotions... To sort out things within myself... To put it another way, I just want to escape from 'reality in the virtual world'...

Peeps like mh, puii, jenson, btp have all know and witness and even experience my MIA period... especially mh, puii and jenson... They are the people that I had MIA on, early last year...


With advanced technology, indeed spaces are getting smaller... Msn, FB, blog, etc... All ways to connect and contact... It does make life easy in a way, but at the same time, it also affect life as easy as well...

Sharing of thoughts and feelings over blog, FB status, MSN nick, etc... Anyone can just read it... Perhaps, the targeted person may not be named... But sometime, it's that easy to tell...

I'm tired of having to read negative things about me, when I didn't even do that in the first place... Accuse me once... I shall just put it aside... Accuse me again, I shall have a nice talk with you first... But accuse me again, thrice or more, rest assure, even if it's untrue, I'll make sure it come true... JUST FOR YOU!


Why prove these peoplw wrong ain't it? Waste of effort and time... Why fight against it? I shall just go with the flow.

Unhappy about it? Well, you accuse me first!




aah~ Do you know how piss off I am with you? Don't tell me one thing and end up saying something else in your blog or anything... Avoiding you? HAH! why do I even need to do that? Be it whatever you want to think about me or anything else... How many times have you say that I'm treating you as less importance? Seriously, I'm suffocated!! Nearly once that I want to leave this friendship aside, but the accusation from you is forcing me to do so! Even if I didn't treat you less important previously, trust me on this that aft what have been mention in your blog, I would seriously want to think thrice about how important I want to treat you, because it's not even appreciated and even not being acknowledge!


to be it simply, I have enough of that kind of nonsense!

Movie: District 9

Watch District 9 wid deardear @ AMKhub 2day...

a movie tt deardear thot i won't wanna watch... i dun deny tt... wen i saw e poster i'm totally not interested @ all... aft all it's like science-fric like tt... bt aft watchin e trailer, gt interested in it... haha

a gd movie... just that I dun like e way e scene jump here n dere... a lil confusin sometime... e movie is like a documentary like tt sia... it feel so real!!

interestin how e story progress...


Glad I had decided to watch tis... worth watchin ^^



sometime, we thot wad we're dng is rite... tt we noe wad exactly we're dng... bt e truth is, dere's thing tt we didn't noe or realise... tt things are different frm how it really is...

Study Break...

Cleared all project n assignments last fri... now officially study break for exam...

Really thankful for the help given by Felicia and Edith... stayin up wid me to chiong assignment... last week was practically a u-help me-here-and-there, I-help-u-here-and-there time... haha... fel like keep spammin me wid her ppt to ask how to improve her ppt~ spam me for dunno how many days :P

Exam in less than 2 weeks time... n tt will b e last time we'll ever do things as a class...


2.5yr... n it just past like nobody business... it's seem that we just enter NYP for orientation... in a blink, we're each gng our way... IAP, FYP n repeated modules...


All the best everyone... For exams!

Movie: Overheard

Watch Overheard wid Deardear @ AMKhub just now...

worth watchin...



sometime, a lie just lead to a bigger lie... wen one lie starts... it's hard to end... it just cont to snow ball... desperation can drive a person to do something he would not do... just because he see no way out of the situation he is in...

we may be able to hide behind the lie... but sooner or later, we'll have to pay for the consequences...

Movie: Where Got Ghost

Caught Where Got Ghost wid deardear @ vivo just now...

3 story, 1 show... somehow remind me of 4bia...

had qutie a few laugh... bt other den tt, it isn't really a gd movie actually... e storyline is kinda boring... too animated scenes...


anyway... i dun really recommend tis movie...

Song: 1, 2, 3, 4

1 2, 1 2 3 4-
Give me more lovin' than I've ever had,
Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad,
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not,
Make it feel good when I hurt so bad, Barely gettin' mad,
I'm so glad I found you; I love bein' around you.

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2- 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you- (I love you) I love you
There's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what I'll do-(I love you)
I love you.

Give me more lovin' from the very start,
Piece me back together when I fall apart,
[ 1,2,3,4 lyric found on www.lirik.tv ]
Tell things you never even tell your closest friends-
Make it feel good when I hurt so bad, Best I that I've had,
I'm so glad I found you, I love bein' around you.

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2- 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you- (I love you) I love you
There's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what I'll do- (I love you)
I love you.
(I love you) I love you.

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2- 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you- (I love you) I love you
There's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what I'll do-(I love you)
I love you.

MFGG gangshow '09

One year plus... That's how long since the last time I stepped into MFSS... No thanks to some stuff that happened...

Seriously, it's so hard to please Edith, you know? She been trying to psycho me to go since the confirmation of the campfire. I kept telling her that I won't be going as I have plans on that day le, after she informed me that the gangshow is postpone to 1st August. Not lying anyway. I did have plans on that day. But in actual fact, I had decided to go. The only person who know about that is Felicia. In a way she's the one that manage talk me through and psycho me to go la.

Went to the canteen to check with the juniors where are the rest. Then went to guides' room to help them with moving of the brick to the hall. And that's when that Edith blurt out: Eh Jie, why you here?! =.= talk about giving her a surprise. sheesh~

And that's when I started to get busy. Having to attend event and stuff cause of my current cca, StageArts, I ended up helping them with backstage, lightings and sounds as well as projection thingy.

First thing that I did was helping them with taping down the wire for the spotlight. Then help to calm Samathan down as she having stage fright. Glad to manage to calm her down. Then went to backstage to help Joey with settling of which lights to use for which sectment of the gangshow. And then I'm practically stuck there after that, as Joey had asked for my help.

To be frank, it's a whole different experience I have for a campfire/gangshow. Afterall, how many people will get to work backstage for a campfire/gangshow, especially since you're an alumni.

Being stage manager during SA event help me. And in a way, I shared those experience and knowledge with them yesterday. Joey, Xiao Wei, Samathan and Cheryl. Those who were at the backstage. Things can get a little chaotic. But as long as you're keeping check of what you have to do, things will run smoothly. Having those experience, in a way, aids me to help assuring them and enable them to be less stress during the event.

I didn't have much time to really enjoy the event with my fellow alumni. However, it has became something memorable for me. The different attitude in this batch of girls compared to the previous ones.

You girls may have little manpower. Remember, quality still override quatity. Do a good job in maintaining and improving guides. Sooner or later, people will see that MFGG is better than what they expected. I have faith in you girls.

I guess, in a way, going back for the gangshow last night have renew my passion for guides, especially for MFGG.

Communication

I just don't understand, why is it so hard to just to communicate with you! I seriously have enough, yet I can't just wash my hands off everything, no matter how many times I wished I did.

Just a simple phrase, yet you can keep telling me that I say likewise before.

I'm tired. Do you know that? I'm tired of having to carry YOUR responsibility on MY shoulder just because you're away for attachment.

Stop being hypocrite about how grateful/thankful/glad that I'm helping you. Because I'm totally unwilling to do so! Get that in you!

Who is the one putting in more effort, I believe everyone can see it. Who is the more reliable one, I believe they know it. Who is the one that do followup and making effort for the department, I believe they can tell.

I'm just really tired of trying to communicate with you. Since you been using the excuse that you're busy with attachment and FYP, then let me give you a warning. Don't be shock when I'm not going to help you anymore when mid-August is here, when you're back in school. For that time, you have no excuse of having to stay away anymore.

You ain't the only person having attachment. Yet why do I feel that you seem to have a 'privilege' for staying away from cca? Others having other commitments like attachments or work still tend to their department. Are you?



It's too late to change anything. But at least I know, I'm trying my best to do what is best for the department. Come mid-August, everything will be back to you. And when things get screwed up after that, I no longer going take anymore responsibility to clear up the mess. You are the head. I'm been handling your responsibility for the department for too long. Afterall, I'm nothing more than just an Assistant Head.